News-Sentinel.com

Day of thanks

Residents celebrate amid the uncertainties of recovery

By Dan Cortez of The News-Sentinel



News-Sentinel photo by Aaron Suozzi
Still strugglingPaul Reichert says he was not surprised when his request for graduation from the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission's restoration program was denied. Reichert has spent six months at the mission but continues to struggle with the 12-step program.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For about a week in October, four News-Sentinel journalists lived with individuals who were trying to change their lives at the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission, and its shelter for women, Charis House. On Thanksgiving, we checked in with several of those same residents to find out what special meaning, if any, the day had for them.

Paul Reichert holds a folded newspaper in the lobby of the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission on a rainy Thanksgiving Day. Dozens of people are milling around the mission, enjoying dinner.

Reichert has been in the restoration program since April, and after being denied graduation last week, he'll be here a little longer.

He pauses to consider why restoration staff advised him to stay in the program.

"I wasn't surprised at all," Reichert concludes. "I figured there were going to be complications. Something told me I wasn't going to get it."

He's having trouble with the fourth step in the 12-step program -- taking a moral inventory.

Reichert is told he has to confront his past and why he drank and committed crimes. He can't find the strength to look at himself, he says.

Reuben Hall, who entered the program two months after Reichert, graduated this week.

He is at home with his family. Several other men profiled in earlier stories also are with loved ones on Thanksgiving.

"I'm happy for Reuben," Reichert says half-heartedly. He looks outside, a place he apparently isn't ready for.

The contrast between Reichert and Hall exemplifies the diversity of situations the men in the mission find themselves in. Some falter, others excel and even more remain in limbo, not sure of what the future will bring.

The six-month program at the mission, 301 W. Superior St., attempts to reshape the men -- many are former convicts -- into becoming productive members of society. Daily classes are aimed at bringing structure and boundaries into lives of drug and alcohol addicts by discussing relapse prevention and how to set goals. The men also try to establish a relationship with God.

There is no consistent ending to the process, no matter how thorough the restoration program tries to be. Addictions and bad habits remain. Guidelines and suggestions are provided, but ultimately, the men must decide themselves what direction their lives take from here.

Thanksgiving help

Early Thanksgiving afternoon, Lorenzo Kinnie looked up at the clock in the kitchen he oversees at the mission. The turkey dinner being served to anyone and everyone in the community started at noon and would last until 3 p.m.

"Is it 3 p.m. yet?," he asks. It was 12:45 p.m. "Oh no, it's not even 1 p.m."

The mission, with the help of an estimated 75 volunteers, served about 1,400 meals Thursday. It included turkey, stuffing, corn, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes.

The line for the 900 carryout meals that were served winds throughout the cafeteria and out the door on the east side of the building. The room where the mission holds chapel and classes has been converted to a large cafeteria. Kinnie directs volunteers and men who live at the mission, telling them what to do and when to do it. Volunteers chime in whenever more food is needed out front. Some are serving food; others are opening cans of vegetables.

Food preparations started Nov. 3, when the kitchen staff started cooking turkeys. There would be 108 before staff was done. And after Thursday, mission residents will be eating turkey for the next few days.

By midafternoon, a donation from a local church is due to arrive. Kinnie first heard the donation was coming at about 12:30 p.m. Forty-five minutes later, he remembers what he is waiting for.

"Weren't we supposed to get a donation from a church?" he asks. "Because we can use it."

Minutes later, there's a knock of the kitchen's back door. Another church has leftovers.

"Is it warm?" Kinnie inquires. It is. "Good, we need it."

Inner battles

The mental battles still rage for Julius Woods. He's been in the program for a month now. He's settled in and is developing trust with other men. He has moved from working in the kitchen to janitorial detail.

But doubts remain as to what he should do in the future. Jerry Watson and Hall have graduated. That makes Woods anxious to do the same. Then he steps back and realizes he's not ready.

"I come and go," he says. "I'm confused because I feel I should be out on my own so I can take care of my own business. I keep trying to fool myself. I tell myself I can handle life on the outside, but I'm not ready.

"This place is my safe haven. I'm here to get better structure. It's keeping me clean and sober. But I believe in my heart I'm going to make it. Something about this program is building me up."

He met a minister the other day and wants to work as a mentor at Wood Youth Center, talking to children at the county-run facility who are getting into trouble at an early age.

In just a month, Woods has changed, and so has the mission. New tables and chairs are set up in the cafeteria. Several new men have entered the program; a couple have left.

Rod McCreery, a resident of two months, is continuing to develop a relationship with his mother. They didn't speak for five years until a meeting in October. They were together again on Thanksgiving.

"The more I do this, the better my life gets," McCreery says. "Things are going well with my family. We're looking forward to spending Christmas together. I'm glad to be here. I plan on staying."

For Paul Reichert, progress has been slower. His family was not around on Thanksgiving. His ex-wife moved out of state.

"This is hard for those of us without families, but this is my family now," he says, looking at some of the other residents.

His degenerative disc disease is still bothering him. He is going to Indianapolis in January to see a specialist. But he clings to the bright spots. He finished his lessons on the mission's computers and graduated from the learning center.

"I'm excited about that," he says. "I never finished something I started before."

So he takes the good with the bad. Reichert can reapply for graduation whenever he wants, but he still needs to take his moral inventory at step four. Then it's on to step five, when he is supposed to turn over his problems to God. He sees no coincidence in that being the fifth step.

"God has something else in store. He'll open the door for me when He's ready," he says. "I don't think He's ready yet."

The players

* Julius Woods, 42. Remains in the program, and spent Thanksgiving with family. The recovering alcoholic is a North Side High School grad.

* Jerry Watson, 53. Visited the mission last week, and continues to work toward owning his own barbershop in Lima, Ohio. Spent nearly 11 years in prison for dealing cocaine.

* Paul Reichert, 46. Denied graduation last week, he is still in the program. He is scheduled to see a neurologist in Indianapolis in January about a worsening back problem. Recovering alcoholic.

* Reuben Hall, 47. Former cocaine dealer graduated the program this week. He spent Thanksgiving with his family in Fort Wayne.

* Rod McCreery, 35. Still in the program, he spent Thanksgiving with his mother, with whom he has just reconciled after a five-year separation. A recovering alcoholic and drug user.

If you need help

Homeless men who need shelter can call the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission at 426-7357. Homeless women should call the mission's Charis House program at 426-8123; women must be prescreened by phone before being accepted. Men also can go through walk-in registration beginning at 4 p.m. daily at the door under the green awning on the east side of the mission building at 301 W. Superior St. In addition, those in need can come to the same door for a free hot meal at noon and 5 p.m. daily, regardless of whether they have a home or not.

To help others

* To make monetary donations to the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission, call 426-7357, or write: Fort Wayne Rescue Mission, PO Box 11116, Fort Wayne, IN 46855-1116.

* To donate food or to volunteer time, contact Jeff Keplar at the phone number above or e-mail communityrelations@fortwaynerescue mission.org.