News-Sentinel.com

Mothers starting their journey

By Jennifer L. Boen of The News-Sentinel



News-Sentinel photo by Ellie Bogue
Journey to Charis HouseCharis House resident Lisa Yoder talks about what brought her to the women's shelter. The house is part of the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission, but it is strictly for women in need and their children.

Living at Charis House and working the program is for some mothers their last hope of getting back their children and rebuilding family.

Finding "new people, places and things," is what newbie Lisa Yoder, 37, says she has to do. It's a mantra spoken by nearly all residents.

Like others there, Yoder's drug habit already has cost her her four children, taken away by the courts.

Once a week, her 5-month-old daughter visits. In preparation, she grabs a few toys from the well-equipped nursery and plays idly with them on the couch.

"I hope I can keep this baby," she says. After Child Protective Services became involved, Yoder's mother, who has serious health problems, gained custody of the child.

Yoder came to Charis on West Washington Boulevard on her own. She recognizes the only way she can regain custody of her baby is to get and stay clean.

"I don't know how to live without drugs," she says. She started using marijuana at 11, then moved to harder drugs. The drugs have helped her forget years of abuse by a family member.

All women seeking more than short-term emergency shelter must apply for the intensive program. But before Yoder completes the psychological and personality testing required in the application process, she uses. When she comes back the next day, she has a dirty drop and must leave. She checks herself into Washington House, a Fort Wayne detox center.

She returns to Charis House again after several days and has a clean drop.

"She's back," Crisp says. "That's what counts."

Yoder seems to be on the right track. She's completed a parenting class and is reaching her daily goals of chores, classes and counseling. She recently got a 540 score on the practice GED. "They told me passing is 450. I dropped out of school in the 10th grade so this really made me feel good."

While her face bears scars from an automobile crash and knife slashes, other scars are less visible.

"I've tried to commit suicide several times," she says. "I don't know how to trust anyone." She hopes to learn how in the intensive program.

Wanting to keep her unborn baby

Michell Edmontson, five months pregnant, can relate to Yoder. Her first child, born with cerebral palsy, has been adopted. Two other children, 9 and 12, are in foster care because of her drug habit.

"I'm going to try and keep this baby," said the 37-year-old high school graduate who has pride in her slim body. Only a slight bulge around the middle reveals her as a mother-to-be. She admits using at the beginning of this pregnancy.

Facing possible termination of her parental rights the next day, Edmonston is a bit jittery. She asks people to pray. She chooses a dressy outfit to wear, one of several she's received through donations given Charis House. Her black hair is stylishly pulled back, and her nails are polished and manicured.

A few days earlier in nervous preparation, she typed a letter to present in court, hoping to persuade the judge to give her more time to pull her life together.

"I love my children. Please don't take them away from me," she pleads in the letter. In simple words, she describes the work she is doing at Charis House and that she has committed her life to God.

The judge gives her three more months before deciding if he will permanently take away Edmonston's two children.

While pleased by the decision, she knows that staying clean "is going to be hard. I already know I can't do it my way."

The women

Bonnie Holliday, 39, writes poetry and prose to help her deal with her addiction. She spent three years in prison for drug use.
Leslie Wentworth, 44, says she is not giving up the program at Charis House, despite several relapses. She relapsed after being offered drugs one day from an acquaintance.
Lisa Yoder, 37, is working to stay clean of drugs so she can regain custody of her infant daughter. She was in the process of applying for the intensive program when she relapsed.
Michell Edmontson, 37, who is pregnant, hopes to regain custody of two older children. She has faith that God will give her what she wants.
Patty Crisp, 56, a licensed mental health counselor and certified alcohol and drug counselor, is also an ordained minister. The women call her Pastor Patty. She is executive director of Charis House.

The schedule

CHARIS EMERGENCY
HOUSING PROGRAM
Monday--Friday
* Breakfast: 6-7 a.m.
* Chore time: 7-7:45 a.m.
* Chapel: 7:45-8:15 a.m.
* Self-sufficiency time: 8:15-11:45 a.m./12:30-4:45 p.m.*
* Lunch: 11:45 a.m.-12:15 p.m.
* Supper: 5:15-6 p.m.
* Snack: 8:30-10 p.m.
ALSO:
* Monday: 8:30 a.m., cleaning day (last Monday of month)/6 p.m., chapel.
* Tuesday: 3 p.m., assessment group
* Wednesday: 8:30 a.m., house meeting; 3 p.m., community living group; 6 p.m., chapel
* Thursday: 3 p.m., goal setting group
* Emergency residents are expected to be working on these issues during this time, except when required to be in groups or meetings at Charis. They include physical/ mental, dental, job search or job, housing, financial assistance and child care arrangements.
CHARIS HOUSE INTENSIVE PROGRAM
Monday--Friday
* Breakfast: 6-7 a.m.
* Chore time: 7-7:45 a.m.
* Chapel: 7:45-8:15 a.m.
* *Psycho-educational groups: 8:15-11:45 a.m.
* Lunch: 11:45 a.m.-12:15 p.m.
* *Psycho-educational groups and Learning Center/12:30-4:45 p.m.
* Supper: 5:15-6 p.m.
* Snack: 8:30-10 p.m.
ALSO:
* Twice weekly visits to the YMCA for exercise.
* Nightly, women are encouraged to attend Alcoholics Anonymous or other support groups at various sites.
* Recovery Dynamics; Choices; Goal-Setting; Grief Group; Responsible Thinking; Relapse Prevention; Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs. Learning Center is at Rescue Mission, offering computer skills, GED training and basic education.

The glossary

* Clean drop -- A urine test that shows no evidence of narcotic drugs.
* Dirty drop -- A urine test that reveals evidence of narcotics.
* 12 Step program -- Founded by Alcoholics Anonymous, the program, also used by Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, helps addicts face their addiction and maintain a lifelong process of being clean.
* Sponsor -- A mentor who is further along in the AA recovery program.
* Relapse -- A temporary return to using drugs or alcohol. According to numerous studies cited by the National Institute of Drug Abuse, the most effective means of preventing relapse combines AA's 12 Step program in an abstinence-based setting with counseling and training in coping skills.
* Working the program -- Attending group and AA meetings, counseling and fulfilling house responsibilities to meet personal goals.
* Cocaine -- A narcotic extracted from the leaves of coca plants, it is a white crystalline powder that can be snorted or dissolved in water and injected.
* Crack -- The street name for cocaine that is processed with ammonia or baking soda and water and heated to remove the hydrochloride. It forms a free-based cocaine that is smoked. The term crack refers to the crackling sound made by the baking soda when it is heated. Smoking crack is considered more addictive than using injectable or snorted cocaine.
* House arrest -- court-ordered program usually requiring a person to wear an ankle bracelet that enables law enforcement to track his or her whereabouts. Restoration House and Charis House no longer accept individuals under house arrest.
* Bipolar disorder -- A mental illness that often involves very high and extremely low mood swings.